The Progress Report

Well kids, it’s officially four weeks into this glorious, new hockey season.

13 down, 69 to go.

Already the injury list is growing longer than Brendan Witt’s nasty mane. With Franzen, Gaborik, Malkin, Pavelski, Luongo, Kovalchuk and Markov hanging out begging for popsicles and Hello Kitty band-aids, something tells me maybe they’re just trying to get away from those H1N1 kids. Before you know it the League will need to be realigned into two new conferences, the Invalids and the Swine…but hey, its only four weeks in! Who am I to report such drivel as actual news? Surely there’s loads excitement to be talked about in Shark world! Right. If only.

photo by author

The best thing I can do is perhaps revisit a pre-camp blog I wrote…a blog about the new and crazy things Shark fans had to be jazzed about. Things that we (I) thought might actually take place…and maybe how the things that actually HAVE taken place have just “delighted” us beyond (four lettered) words.

Captaincy. Captain, O My Captain, we adore you whilst you sit in ye olde glass box!
When Marleau was stripped (no it definitely wasn’t as titillating as one might think) the fans let their voices be heard. Everyone knew who the right man for the job was…even those who don’t follow the Sharks beyond lame and overdone Playoff jokes. Apparently though, we didn’t know that the job they were actually planning on filling was that of Penalty Box seat warmer and marginally decent blue liner. Silly us. We didn’t know you could just wave an AARP card and get those kinds of benefits. Dan Boyle did get a consolation prize though…he got an “A” on his sweater! Go team!

Torrey Mitchell. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! “Yes, fans…he will be back…err, soon! Keep on spending your money on tickets…we promise, he’s almost ready. He skated with the team during the morning skate! Yes…yes, he even traveled with the team on the East Coast road trip…it’s only a matter of time.” Missing the guy all last season, fans have been waiting on pins and needles to see his shining smile and crooked helmet on the Penalty Kill. Yeah, well I’m starting to think he’s moved to Saskatchewan to raise Alpacas…and now apparently Joe Pavelski has gone to visit. I’ve heard things…just sayin.

Rookies earning their cookies. Nothing much to joke about here besides the fact that no one (meaning me) expected to see defenseman Jason Demers still playing with the big boys. But the joke is clearly on me as this kid has 8 points in 13 games with SJ and is primed for a 50 point rookie season if he keeps up this production rate. I would have just liked to have seen a bit more of Derek Joslin who had a pretty similar season last year (but has the All Star title to go along with). Speaking of Rooks, the Worcester boys clearly know how to heat things up when they get the call. Long Island Native and Worcester Captain Ryan Vesce was called up to play against the Islanders for his first game of the season and what do you know, scores his first NHL goal. Two days later he thought it might be necessary to do it again and took a bite (just one of many) out of the Rangers as well. While many teams are making calls to fill injury ridden roster spots, Doug Wilson makes calls and places goal orders. (Vesce’s was made special with MSG) Thank you. Come again.

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Someone turn the damn HEAT on already…
As autumn sets in and the hockey chill is in the air, what better way to warm frozen, jaded, puckish hearts than with a little Heater action. What’s that? My attitude has changed? I know not of what you mean. I do know that many “HP attendees” were skeptical. While the magic officially has been made between Thornton and Heatley, the deal is not sealed. Hearts are not warmed yet…rather, “defrosting”. Don’t get us wrong, he’s great. I mean REALLY, who scores a hat trick within just two weeks of opening day?! Oh…Milan Michalek? That’s right…I’m sorry.
Bottom line, we’re waiting for more. The jury is still out. No pun intended. The poor guy has probably heard that phrase way too much.

Well there you have it. A brief (yet ridiculously wordy) summary of the first four weeks of the Sharks 2009 season. Some things may not have gone “according to plan” but this organization has undoubtedly kept us all on our toes. What will the next 69 games bring? Now, now…this ain’t no prediction blog. Anyone with a Sharks sweater knows better than that.