New Book Asks If There Is A Bias Against Newfie Players

Former NHL defenseman Bob Gladney’s new book, ‘Port aux Basques? – On Yer Ass! : Discrimination against Newfoundlanders in the NHL’ is causing quite a stir in hockey circles. Gladney argues that native Newfoundlanders face widespread prejudice in the form of lowered ice-time, roster cuts and jokes that ‘are just recycled wisecracks about the Polish’.

An exhaustive statistical analysis shows that, relative to population, Newfoundland has the lowest percentage of players to crack not only the NHL but also the national junior team. “By Jaysus if that ain’t a conspiracy I’ll eat my hat” writes Gladney “crissakes my trout, if it wasn’t for Cleary weed’a never even seen the cup hit Town”.

When polled about the book, reaction from Newfoundland was mixed.

• 24% expressed support for Gladney
• 27% called the study “about 10 pounds of BS in a 5 pound bag”
• 13% told us to “g’waaan”
• The remaining 36% refused to answer the survey and insisted we listen to their plan to bring back the St John’s Maple Leafs

Gladney claims the only solution for this sort of systemic discrimination is for the NHL to play all games within the province. “We’s gots a Cornerbrook Conference and a St John’s Conference, if the plows have trouble then we can meets in the middle in Gander as long as we lets the curling club know ahead a time.”