With the announcement of a possible resurrection for the Quebec Nordiques franchise; thousands of angry hipsters voiced their displeasure at potentially losing a critical part of their ensemble.
Vintage Nordiques merchandise, prized for its counter culture appeal and one-up-manship potential has been in dwindling supply since the franchise was moved to Denver in 1994. Prevailing hipster opinion bemoans that a refreshed Nordiques catalog would not only remove the inherent rarity but also the smug sense of superiority they feel while wearing it.
Paradoxically, some of the more livid commentators are clearly not old enough to remember seeing the team actually play. When pressed to name any former players from the roster most responded by rolling their eyes and quipping that “we were missing the whole point, sooo predictable”.
“It’s like, totally corporate, man you know?” blogged local hipster Nathaniel LeClaire from his mother’s basement, “I mean if they’re playing ACTUAL hockey I might as well be wearing a Pepsi symbol”. At press time LeClaire was contemplating whether to place his technically accurate but historically infuriating Eric Lindros Nordiques jersey up for auction on eBay.
Filed Under: Satire
About the Author: Al Rankin writes vicariously through others. You probably shouldn't trust what he says, although it's cool to lend him money, he's totally good for it. @Al_Rankin on Twitter