Consistently unreliable sources say that Senators GM Brian Murray is close to finalizing a deal that would send disgruntled winger Dany Heatley out of Ottawa in an elaborate 6 way NHL/KHL trade involving the ONE guy you didn’t want moved.  Seriously.

While not your favourite player per se, the veteran skater was a quietly consistent asset for the team and really, like,  brought a lot of intangibles to the rink. Sources close to you spoke of a growing concern over the leadership structure and character of the team due to the loss. Bitter condemnations of  “just to make a spoiled brat like Heatley happy” were reportedly heard in 5 of the 6 cities involved.

Clinging to the hope that this latest transaction was, in fact, just a rumour you were heard to remark “It’ll be weird to see him in the Blue & White, he never seemed like the HC Dynamo Minsk kinda guy”