Furious 2007 Brian Burke travels through time to berate 2009 Brian Burke


A livid Brian Burke traveled forward in time yesterday to condemn the actions of his future self, calling the 5 year, $27 Million deal for winger Phil Kessel an “act of desperation” by a GM “fighting to keep my job”.

Appearing for the Toronto press in turbulent sphere of electrical energy, a naked Burke quickly rose from a crouch and donned a suit provided by Senior V.P. Dave Nonis.  Burke said it wasn’t the number of draft picks that angered him , but rather the amount of money offered.  “I think it’s a tool certainly a team is entitled to use. My issue here is that I, that is my future self, have offered a grossly inflated salary for a player, and it impacts on all 30 teams”

The war of words escalated today when present day Brian Burke held his own press conference. “While I certainly respect my opinion I also feel that I am way off base in regards to this deal”. 2009 Brian Burke explained that his time traveling doppelganger was still riding the high of his recent Stanley Cup victory and did not appreciate the work and stress involved in the rebuilding process “I think it’s a classless move timing-wise, I thought that was gutless.”

Before returning to his own time a visibly delighted 2007 Brian Burke cackled with glee after being told the Edmonton Oilers had missed the playoffs for the last 2 years and began giggling when informed of Dustin Penner’s contributions during that time.

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About the Author: Al Rankin writes vicariously through others. You probably shouldn't trust what he says, although it's cool to lend him money, he's totally good for it. @Al_Rankin on Twitter

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  1. ryanbatty says:

    Nice post!

    Present Day Burke should be assured though that if the signing doesn't work he can always get promoted like Lowe did.

  2. Justin M. says:

    Great, great read. I remember his anger towards the Dustin Penner deal, and this connection to Phil Kessel's deal definitely skipped my mind. Very entertaining!

  3. Burke says:

    I can’t find the comments at the moment but I believe Burke addressed the difference between signing someone to an offersheet and the way Edmonton signed Penner to an offer sheet. Point is this isn’t the same situation.

  4. I.P. Freely says:

    Nice thought… but I disagree that Penner's contract and Kessel's are the same thing. Penner was never projected to me a 50 goal guy. He was a young kid who had a solid season that the team didn't want to lose, but he didn't score 37 goals in his first season. Also, Edmonton still killed the NHLs "2nd contract" with their theatrics. The Kessel trade wasn't an extortion. The B's couldn't afford Kessel with less than 2M to spare, and the Leafs worked with them to facilitate a trade. I don't see anything wrong with Burke's actions (or his thoughts back then).

  5. ryanbatty says:

    Edmonton still killed the NHLs "2nd contract"

    Really??? Look at the second contract that Nash or Bergeron received. Those did just as much to inflate the price as anything the Penner signing did. All Burke had to do was qualify Penner and he wouldn't have lost him. Instead he chose to go the road where he hoped he could low ball Penner on a longer term deal and got bit in the ass trying it.

  6. mikep26 says:

    While I don't feel that Burke "overpaid" for Kessel (as he is very talented and has 40 goal potential), one has to wonder why he could not have gotten him to sign even for 5.2 mil/season. If Burke had signed him to an offer sheet at this payment level, the compensation he would have to give the Bruins would only be a 1st, 2nd and 3rd round pick, not two 1sts. It's unfortunate he couldn't bargain down 200,000/year to save himself a first rounder.

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