All Entries in the "Satire" Category
Crosby Loses Bet, Moves Out
Sidney Crosby's days in Mario Lemieux's basement are finally over. An unfortunate loss in the world wide known "Cole Harbour Salmonizer" event had Mario Lemieux jumping for joy, and Sid the Kid packing his bags. Cole Harbour natives are known to partake in these "bets" whenever challenged, but the track record of their success is [...]
MAINSTREAM MEDIA FAIL: Our Satire Picked Up As A News Item By MSNBC
http://bit.ly/aoAacX (can be seen via Google Cache) Al Rankin writes under the name Duncan_Disorderly. He’s been our main satire guy for the season. He’s hit with some great ones like Brian Burke’s Time Travel piece, the infamous Bryan McCabe on the Phaneauf trade, and so many more. But it is this last one that will now [...]
Canucks Wellwood & O’Brien Fined For Planning Deep Dish Pizza Crawl
While several of the Vancouver Canucks expressed a hunger for redemption in their return to Chicago it appears that at least two members have appetites that won’t be satisfied by victory alone.
Counting Pucks
Here is a short math’s test, with some simple questions, about three friends called Alex, Mason and Ryan. Question One: Alex, Mason, and Ryan each have a bag of pucks. In Alex’s bag there are 35 pucks, Mason has 25 pucks and Ryan also has 25. If you add up all of the pucks what [...]
Agony of Deceit
by Brenna Solop Each night I tune into the playoffs, to see how all those teams I don’t root for are doing. So far throughout the “second season” I have been consistently surprised. I mumble things to myself like, “Oh yeah, I forgot the Kings made it” (I know they lost their series) or, “Oh [...]
Carcillo: ‘Not a dive. I was abruptly struck by the horrific state of our educational system’
If I’m guilty of ANYTHING it’s caring too much about our schools and universities.
So, You Need A Bandwagon?: Eastern Conference
Ah, the brutal pain of realizing your favorite team won’t be competing for Lord Stanley’s hardware. For some it’s more bitter than others when your club was a single point out of the top eight or are left out due to the inevitable injury bug. For others, just wondering the direction of your franchise can [...]
Gretzky, Hull and Modano excited to begin series of bitter, acrimonious disputes.
In a surprise development today, former NHL greats Wayne Gretzky and Brett Hull and current NHL ‘pretty decent’ Mike Modano have announced plans to cast aside years of friendship and mutual respect. The plan, which involves the purchase of the troubled Dallas Stars NHL franchise, is a perfect storm of fiscal instability, conflict of interest and general inexperience.
Marty At The Bat
From 20,000 throats and more there rose a lusty cheer;
It rumbled through the Rockies and made us drop our beer;
It knocked upon the skybox and upon the ice so flat,
For Marty, mighty Marty, was advancing to the bat.
Don’t Spill Biron My Jersey
by Brenna Solop On this cold and wintry night, listening to my garbage cans take off down the street, I think I’ll travel back to warmer days. It was last spring – chicks were hatching, baby bunnies were taking their first hops, and the aromas of hope and Shake Shack hung in the air, given [...]
If the Leafs wanted an overpaid slapshot with questionable defensive skills so badly why’d they trade me?
Young offensive defenseman with big shot averages around 50 points a season before his contract expires, gets rewarded with a multi-year extension averaging $6 million per. He initially plays well but soon production fades which draws attention to his lack of defensive skill. Fans revolt and demand a trade. Sound familiar?
Garden Of Woe: Breaking Down The Bruins 2010 Struggles At Home
Happy February, or at least that’s what Bruins fans are hoping for. After a downright disastrous month of January that looked promising following the Bruins’ astonishing 2-1 overtime win at the 2010 Winter Classic, the B’s finished the month with a 3-9-2 record and find themselves on the outside looking in, sitting at 11th place [...]
Wednesday Night Rant: Bruins Fans Booing Tim Thomas? Really?
The Wednesday Night Rant kicks off with the calling out of the Tim Thomas haters and Tuukka Rask lovers.
Santa Visits the Predators
Ho, Ho, Ho, it’s the jolly old fat guy here… What? NO, not Ken Hitchcock! Santa Claus! Kris Kringle. I have , ahem, “borrowed” the View’s blog to share some early Christmas cheer with my favorite hockey team, the Predators, their fans, and the Nashville sports community. So let’s take a look in the old bag… [...]
How Santa Ruined the Maple Leafs (A Christmas Story)
It was December 22nd, and I was recently hired on to work at the local post-office. I had done their tedious work of assorting all the mail and endured my fair share of letter kisses (aka huge freaking paper cuts). I had done my part in customer service in order to send out last minute [...]
How about that totally accidental fire?
Daniel Alfredsson here again, man, is it hot in here or is it just me?
A Minnesota Wild team on fire in Ottawa
OTTAWA (As per the Associated Press and TSN)—A van carrying equipment for the Minnesota Wild caught fire on Friday and left the team scrambling ahead of its game against the Ottawa Senators. The fire occurred following the team’s afternoon practice at the Kanata Recreation Center in Ottawa. The team was still determining the extent of [...]
John Tortorella = Johnny Hotcakes
If you haven’t figured out John Tortorella is an angry dude, clearly you aren’t a Tampa Bay fan. When he was a free agent, it was clear he was going to go to a top contender to be the difference. Lo and behold, he’s stuck with Glen Sather’s hapless Rangers, and those who are making [...]
Brendan Witt Hit by Truck – The Musical
It was supposed to be a lovely morning in Philadelphia. Breakfast was fantastic and thinking about a nice walk for a coffee sounded great for Islanders defenceman Brendan Witt. He was sure it would be wonderful, and walked out the door of the hotel and down the road.
Kessel Told Savard ‘Not To Sign’ With Boston
Bruins fans certainly understand Kessel’s gone, but you’d think Phil ‘The Thrill’ would know that this is no way to endear yourself to your former club. Today, during an interview with 850AM WEEI’s Dale Arnold (former Bruins announcer) and Michael Holley, Marc Savard discussed his contract extension, his desire to bring the Stanley Cup back to Boston and old friend, Phil Kessel. “We’ve texted [...]
