PRONGER’S PUCKS: We Uncover That His Puck Stealing Skills Are Just The Tip Of The Iceberg

We here at HockeyIndependent strive to investigate thoroughly any and all issue or NHL scandal. When Pronger stole the Stanley Cup game pucks, we here snapped into action. We have conducted a thorough investigation into Mr. Pronger and this is what we discovered in his Philly suburb house…

The Brinks Job:

If one looks closely, you can see that Pronger still has the Brinks sacks of money, using them as pillowcases in his guest bedroom. Back in the 70’s a brazen gaggle of robbers made off with some sacks of cash, embarassing the Brinks company with a successful brazen attempt on their armored truck.

It also made a godawful 1978 flick directed by the Excorcist director, William Friedkin, starring Peter Falk.

A Goodfella?

Chris Pronger might have been the mastermind behind the infamous Lufthansa Heist. Little did you know that the famous cargo heist from Goodfellas really happened. A women seduced and distracted JFK guards, and the robbers made off with wads of cash. Basically, they walked right into the Air France cargo terminal at JFK and left with USD $420,000. A nice tidy sum, or as Pronger calls it: Stripper Money.

The 2010 Crosby Olympic Gear Heist

You might think that Crosby got his gear back. But little do you know, they are just cheap facsimiles. The real original stuff sits in Pronger’s den along with  several other great lost treasures like a Picasso painting.

Mystery Solved!

Biggest of all is this sketch we uncovered. Chris Pronger is none other than DB Cooper? This might explain a lot, including his whisking away late in the night from Edmonton.

Whoever wins the cup, they better hold onto it for dear life. Pronger is in town.

(this satire was done live from the Wachovia Center, Philadelphia


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About the Author: B.D. Gallof is a published writer and hockey blogger. He writes about Hockey, NY Islanders & the NY Islanders venue situation for CBS New York. BD has been written up in Sports Illustrated, TSN.ca, the NY Times Slapshots blog, Yahoo's Sports and SportsBusiness Journal. He has been a featured blogger for The Huffington Post, as well as owner, lead writer, and managing editor at HockeyIndependent.com.

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  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by BDGallof, George Prax. George Prax said: RT @BDGallof: LIVE SATIRE! PRONGER’S PUCKS: We Uncover That His Puck Stealing Skills Are Just The Tip Of The Iceberg http://bit.ly/bOt9LG [...]

  2. tangent_man says:

    Good stuff, BD.

    Though, truth be told, Pronger looks more like a grown up Dennis Mitchell than DB Cooper in that pic, which would explain Mr Wilson’s missing WWII Swiss Army knife.

  3. Wow Very Good, I wish I could Write as Wonderful as you do,

  4. Basil says:

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